MESSAGE NOTES

Notes, further readings, & devotionals

Loveology - Week 1

God has a divine design for human relationships.


5 components of relationships

  1. Love
  2. Marriage
  3. Sex
  4. Romance
  5. Gender


WHY DO WE WANT AND NEED RELATIONSHIPS?

  • FIRST: RELATIONSHIP IS CREATED AND DEFINED BY GOD
  • SECOND: RELATIONSHIP IS IN OUR DNA


THE RELATIONSHIP ENEMY:

  • Satan has no agenda, he is defined by the opposite of what God desires: He takes what God creates, and he moves it toward chaos and this includes all aspects of relationship and sexuality.
  • The first place we see the enemy attack is in relationship
  • Brings division between humans and God “did he really say that?”
  • And then the division between husband and wife “SHE gave it to me!”


THE LANES’ LOVE STORY (passionate, infatuation)

  • What is “Falling in love”?
  • If you fall into something you can easily fall out of it.
  • When we say “I love you” we usually mean “when I am around you, I feel happy.”
  • And by this logic - when you stop making me happy, I no longer love you
  • This understanding of love is selfish.


LOVE = JESUS ON THE CROSS

“This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” 1 John 4:10

The cross of Jesus teaches us that love is not about “making me feel happy.”

He goes to a cross, he weeps over his people, he serves his disciples, this does not look anything like “happy feelings.”


LOVE IS A FEELING AND AN ACTION

  • “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son . . .”
  • God “did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all . . .” 
  • “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her . . .”
  • In each of these, the authors use action verbs to describe God’s love for us as shown through Jesus Christ.


LOVE IS SERVING: WASHING FEET

  • Love lived out by Jesus is self-sacrificing.
  • John 13:4-5 So he got up from the table, took off his robe, wrapped a towel around his waist, and poured water into a basin. Then he began to wash the disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel he had around him.
  • This love is not pretty and it’s not romantic.
  • This love is about getting into the mud and serving another person
  • To be the least important person in the room.


MULTIPLE MEANINGS OF “LOVE” IN THE BIBLE

  • In English we have one word for love.
  • In Greek there are four words
  • In Hebrew there are three that we will talk about


  1. Rayah - Friend - Common interest, makes me happy, partner
  2. Dod - Lover - Sexual attraction - Physical in nature - romantic
  3. Ahava -  Relentless, committed, self-sacrificing


Song of Songs 8:6-7 Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for ahava is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench ahava; rivers cannot sweep it away.


Feelings, no matter how vivid, in the long run, are weak. They come and go. But ahava has resolve. Staying power. - The love that God has for us and gives to us has staying power.


The language of Song of Songs is the same imagery of death, we cannot stop it, it is unrelenting, and it eternal. It is the only force that can overcome death.


  • You can’t build a marriage on deep feelings of fun and interest alone. (Rayah)
  • Friendship is vital, but you need an extra spark… something more
  • Sexual attraction isn’t enough - over time the body will age and wrinkle
  • What we need is self-sacrificial, committed and active, love that is relentless


For Further Learning:

LOVEOLOGY - John Mark Comer

THE MEANING OF MARRIAGE - Tim Keller